My personal facebook wall today was filled with screen captures of a little boy named Myles playing an all-star game in Cooperstown. To the many “friends” I have, these images probably meant nothing, but to me, they are the world.
When I was very young, my biological Father left my Mother and I. I don’t know much else about him. I know there were a lot of drugs involved. I know, after long afternoons spent pouring over hundreds of microfiche of old newspaper articles, that he did some seriously bad things. But I also know, from the little bits that my Mother has shared, that he has a tremendous heart and a beautiful soul. He is just sick and lost and leaving me was his way of granting me the freedom he knew I deserved. Sometimes leaving, without looking back, is the most beautiful act of love a person can achieve. I believe that with all of my heart.
That little boy pictured today on my facebook page is my nephew. My biological Brother found me one day, completely out of the blue, and being able to witness my own son cheering on his long lost cousin is almost too much for my heart to handle.
No matter what happens in life, no matter how completely horrible and shameful things may seem, if you let love lead, joy will always, always find its way.
I may never meet my biological father, or get the chance to tell him face to face, but I thank him in my prayers each and every day. He gave me my fighting spirit.
Are there people out there who have had it easy and live crazy privileged lives? Sure. But I will never, ever envy them. I’d rather be a strong little salmon swimming upstream, especially when beautiful little miracles, like Myles and his beautiful twin sister Emma, freckle my life each and every day.